An International Student of Literature in England.
So this is it. The moment I’d been thinking about every single day this semester, and even every single day since September has finally arrived… The day I would finally have submitted all my essay and finish my second year of university. The last week was intense and strange. My “epiphany” happened (the moment I finally had ideas for my two remaining essays) and I put myself into hardcore essay mode and wrote these essays while listening to epic classical music such as Mozart’s Requiem (as usual) or Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries for motivation.
And I am dooooooooooooooooooooooooooone!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was going to party on my own in my room and have cake and shandy (hardcore student life), but the second I finished my Shakespeare essay – the one I’d kept for the end and dreaded much – my body decided to shut down and I was very sick for the following days… So sick my housemate had to help me get up and walk because I was falling over. It’s as if my mind couldn’t do any more work after months of non-stop stress and hard work and my body was forcing me to stay in bed for three days. So I did.
My second year of university was hard on many different levels, and the second semester was by far the hardest due to the amount of reading I had to do each week. I didn’t think I’d manage but I’d never admit defeat. At that point I need to thank the people who supported me and kept me mentally sane and motivated. On the other hand, I discovered tons of amazing books, authors, artists and learnt so much! The last week of work, I was so stressed that I didn’t feel stressed anymore. Right now I’m so relieved I don’t even feel relief. It’s like my life is a little bit empty: what will I do with my days?
Well, I will learn to have fun and relax again — but I need to make sure I don’t start getting bored. I will finally be able to read books for leisure (without stress and deadlines), I want to try to read more philosophy, I will be able to draw and paint again, I will go out for walks every day and lie down in the grass, I will be able to live without feeling bad for not working all the time, my housemates and I will plan day trips, I will be able to play guitar again! All these little things I stopped doing and missed so much.
It was funny to go back to older articles I wrote and remember all my wishes for the semester. January feels like a life ago! I’m staying in Norwich until the beginning of June and am both excited and slightly stressed about my grades but I know I did my absolute best. I know how much I worked. And although I say I just want to pass on my Shakespeare essay, I secretly hope I did amazingly well on it and that the entire university will applaud me for all my efforts (okay, I’m dreaming now).
I can’t wait to go back home though, the summer holidays are the best time of the year and I am getting so excited about my trip to New York with my family (my first time to America)! 😀 I want to make the most of them because they mark the end of an era.
Next year, I don’t know what I’ll do with my life but I need to think about it very seriously. I’m not sure what I want to do, not because nothing interests me but because there are lots of things I want to do in my life. I want to help, I want to work with children, teenagers and elderly people, I want to do something worthwhile, I want to do something related to art and literature, I want to translate, I want to write, I want to make music, I want to teach, I want to inspire…
But firstly, I must accept that I am an adult (boo, I still like watching Sponge Bob Square Pants…) and won’t be on holiday for six months per year anymore. I will still go home as much as possible after I graduate but I probably won’t live there ever again for weeks or months at a time and this is so sad in a way. I needed to leave when I did, but now I miss tons of little things — the comfort of home and a sheltered teenage life. I also miss France more and more, my daily routine and my hometown, speaking French (IT’S SO MUCH EASIER and I can make even more stupid puns, yay!), TV, the smell of warm baguettes… I love England and dreamt to live here when I was in college, during English lessons with my friend Clément who now says I’m “living the dream”… but I realise it means being far from home and from my family, and missing lots of things like my brother’s birthday – again – (which is today – Happy birthday Cyril! 14 years of love and fun!).
Oh anyway, this is supposed to be a happy blog and a celebration of the end of another year of uni – my second year at UEA but my fourth year of university if I count the two years at Nice University! I have very mixed feelings about it: I am so sick of the pressure but I adore UEA, love my course and love learning.
For now, all I will focus on is fun! 🙂